Dear Nobody™,

I have wanted to commit suicide for years. I am too much of a coward to do it. I hate that I had kids because I know they will suffer. I think about it almost every day. I have tried twice unsuccessfully. My family/friends did not know it was a suicide attempt. The crazy thing is my life is so much better. I found God, I have a family, but my past haunts and torments me daily. I wish I did it before my kids were old enough to get to know me. They are 10, 9, and 6. I disappeared for a full 24 hours bc I don't want my kids to find me dead and I tried to do it in a hotel. My 10 year old text me over 50 times "where are you", "I miss you", "I'm crying".It broke me and I came back home. I don't want help, I don't want therapy, I want relief... I want to die.