Dear my friends who don't know,

T/W SH

I'm sorry, but I cut today. There was no reason. I just lost my sanity, I guess. I don't feel insane. I feel like me.

The wound is just vaguely uncomfortable. I'm okay. I regretted it, if it makes you feel better. But not very much. Feeling the wound, seeing it; it makes me want to pick up my blade again. I think I made it worse, didn't I?

I'm so tired. I don't want to be like this, either. I want to be the person you decided to be friends with. Not this useless, painful wreck, who is unkind and neglectful. I don't want to be so shameless.

I want to be a good person. I want it so bad. I don't know why I can't do it. I think it's just because I'm striving for perfection where it doesn't exist.

At least I didn't kill myself, I suppose. I love you guys. All of you. I'll see you tomorrow. I will do anything to see you tomorrow. I promise, swear to god, that if I ever commit it will not be without a hell of a fight. I swear I will do anything, anything, to make sure we can have every good day we get to have.

Thank you so much for being my friends.
I love you.