Dear grief,

you have taken half of my energy, my weight, appetite. you're such a windy road, i cry at happy, weird, confusing moments. i miss them so much, im grieving 5 people, the pain is double every fucking day, my head hurts, i throw up at the smell of food and happiness triggers me.

there's a quote that goes "your pain is a little red ball in a small box that is constantly moving around. every time it touches the wall of the box, you feel pain. the ball will never go away.. but the box will get bigger and over time, you will feel the pain less frequently. the ball will still hit the box at random times, but not as frequently." i know someday the pain wont feel as bad, i know because the pain of losing my sisters hasn't gone away but it isn't as bad as before and the pain of losing my friends too. i wish to meet you someday again, whether it be in our next life and if i don't, i will forever carry you all in my heart and little box of grief.