Dear Universe,

I try to be a good person. I try to always do the right thing. I need you to understand that I try. But I am tired. Tired of everything. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to find my peace. I want to be able to go to sleep at night and not have to worry what will happen tomorrow. You have put so much on me and I am breaking. I don't know where my smile has gotten to. I just want me back.

Everything has changed so much in the last year to the point that I don't recognize my own life anymore. The same people are here but they are also lost to me. I can't be the person I was anymore. I can't be the fun one, the one who made others happy, the one who was everything.

I have lost me. I miss who I was before.... Before everything changed. Before everything was lost. When I could see a future where I was happy and living. Now, I feel numb. That my nerve endings are burned out. That I am burned to a crisp.

I could have used a warning. A sign. Anything.

Now, my husband is broken beyond repair, my kids hate what life has become, what I have become. How to you show emotions that you don't feel anymore? How do you keep living when nothing brings you joy? How can you be a family when it is broken? How?!?!

I feel like I am being punished for just wanting a normal life. Nothing fancy just a life. A home, a family, a warm place, to feel loved. Is that too much to ask for? I don't think it is. That is the bare minimum that anyone would want out of life.