Dear My Parents,

I don't know what to say to you people anymore.

I know you have given me life, food, shelter, and so many gifts over the years. But with the things you say to me, it makes me feel drained.

But I try, I try so hard. But you never see it. You either see me as a dissapointment, or that I'm just going to fail. You don't care about the things I am so passionate about, you just sit there. You don't care. You don't even try to listen.

You guilt trip me, you mentally abuse me. You, Father, have even threatened to hit me before. But not just once, I grew up with that. I have normalised it.

You make fun of how I dress, you speak bad about the people I love. Like friends, family, and don't even care of how that will affect me. You speak about my friends I love and care about, like they mean nothing to me.

The amount of trauma, you and others have given me. You don't put that into consideration. You just compare my childhood to theres, saying how they had it worst at my age.

At the age of 12, I had normalised self harm. If people told me that they were suicidal, I wouldn't be surprised. It was crazy that at such a young age, I had normalised something I shouldn't have. Makes it even worst that I had done self harm at 12.

On my 13th birthday, I didn't even want to be alive. Insane how that was on my birthday.

You don't even understand the amount of pain I have been through, physical and mental. It's so strong I can't even put it into words. My hate and love for you is fighting it's way, but sometimes I wish you could just hit me. I wish you can just hit me until I bleed. Until I bruise. Until I scar. Wit until I scream stop. That would give me an actual reason to hate you.

I hope you just hit me.