Dear Vane,

I don't want to reach out to you because you set a boundary and I set mine, and even though I have so much to say to you, I dont want to disrespect either of us.

It does make me a bit sad though, I really wanted to stay friends with you, and being suddenly cut off without explanation was honestly so hurtful. I'm not sure what did it, I thought we were really becoming friends again, which is all I want, mostly because while I still do and have always had feelings for you, I care more about you as a friend than anything else. I wish you would have told me what I did, because trust me, I would have tried to fix it. I knew I was a mess, but even more than then, I see how self-destructive I was.

I wanted to thank you for giving me a good experience with romance in my life. I know we ended rough (most of that was on me, I am sorry I got so mad, I was a dumb teen), but it was some of the best times of my time in highschool . Thank you for being kind to me and helping me discover parts of my identity I struggled to see. I know I probably wasnt what you expected in a boyfriend and I apologize. I rly hope you have found a relationship thats better, and someone who cares about you.

I personally realized that serious relationships probably arent for me. , none of them are, Im just insanely aro-ace I think in a weird freak way LMAO. Kind of wild what getting medicated will do to you lol, after getting on meds, it really has made me realize how I treated you was insanely immature and humiliating. It also has made me kind of pissed off at you, because now that I have a clear head, I really dont know why you acted like that those last few weeks of us talking before you cut me off.

If you see this, which I doubt you will, I want to talk. all I want is to know why you cut me out, and if you would ever just want to retry being friends. I would like to redo our friendship, and start from square one. If not, thats okay too. I miss you a lot, its embarrassing, but its probably because you are just a cool and fun person to be around. Idk if you drink coffee, but if we ever talk again, Id love to grab coffee and chat with you.

I miss you a lot as my friend, and whatever I did, hopefully I can redeem myself one day.