Dear partner,

I've felt off in the relationship for months. I feel forced to feel ways that don't come naturally to me but they do for you. You love me. I know it. Maybe I felt the same way once, but there's been a shift and I no longer feel the same. I'm young. We both are. You seem to want us to last forever, and look into the future. I don't want to date for marriage, not at my age. I need experiences, I need to meet people, find my preferences and to just live without that pressure of permanence.

I'm not well, and I haven't been for a long time. You aren't either. Although, sometimes it just feels like a competition. You aren't depressed or anxious until I mention that I am, then you shift the conversation onto yourself and expect comfort from me that I don't receive in return.

You're insecure. That's not a fault, we all are, but I can't serve the purpose of reassuring you about everything all the time. Especially not when everyday feels like a challenge for myself just to keep going. I can hardly handle my own emotions, I can't balance them with someone else's.

Also, the distance is impossible. We've missed crucial things that you can only truly know about someone from being around them. I don't feel excited at the thought of meeting up. It just makes me anxious.

I want to break up. I don't know how or when. I don't want to break your heart but I know I inevitably will. I'm worried for what will happen to you if I do, how you'll react, what you could do to yourself.

I'm sorry.