Dear Nobody™,

i want to drop out of university.

i've already done it once before, so what's a second time?

i don't know what to do with my life. i feel so stuck. i'm trapped back at home with my family, who i love so dearly, but god all i want to do is get away. move to another country because moving to another state is simply not enough.

i think i have adhd, so i don't feel that is helping with my situation. i can't focus. i can't think. i can't do anything. i have debilitating social anxiety and suffer from a multitude of chronic illnesses which make day-to-day living even harder.

you know what's worse? having an eating disorder too. a silent battle that no one knows. i've gained so much weight as a result of it, and i feel everything in my life is on hold until i lose it again.

if i'm being honest, the only reason i wish to drop out from university, move overseas, and lose weight is because i dream to be a singer.

i've lost all confidence i had in myself to sing. my high school experience kind of ruined that for me.

i want to sing and write songs and perform and perform and perform to people all across the world. but if i'm so trapped, and i lack the confidence, how can i ever?

i hate my life at the moment and i don't know how to break the cycle.

i wish never gained weight. i wish i moved overseas instead of interstate. i wish i never moved back home. i wish i had the confidence to pursue my dreams. i wish i could make 10 year old me happy. i wish i could make 10 year old me proud.