Dear stephen,

I'm so disgusted and disappointed i was intimate with you and you decided to leave with no explanation, you begged me to send you nudes and i finally decided that i would just because i thought you liked me and i wanted to make you happy and the next day you block me on everything, you're evil and disgusting and i'm sure you still have my nudes in your phone and i don't give a fuck how many accounts you block me on i am 15 and you're 17, i have no problem with going to the police about this at all i just really hope you're not stupid enough to expose the girl that trusted you, now on a more vulnerable note, since he's blocked me i've been doing terrible (this happened yesterday by the way) regardless of what i just said i'm more disappointed in myself because i know better, i had never sent nudes in my life until that night and i don't know what i was thinking it was just in the moment and i really did think he liked me and i just wanted to make him happy, i feel so stupid for doing it i just wish i could go back and change it i've been crying ever since it happened i cant even look at myself in the mirror knowing yet another guy successfully used me for my body, my body seems to be the only thing about me that interests boys which hurts so much my whole life i've been treated as if my body is the most interesting thing about me it's all people ever talk about even my family and i hate it i hate my body so much and it's not something i want to be known for because i am so much more than my body and i don't understand why people can't see that, after years of sexual abuse and sexual comments made towards me since i was a child my body is the one thing that i don't want people to make a big deal and that's literally all people do i've never met a boy that didn't want to be sexual with me and sure if you're in a relationship and taking that person seriously then sex is a normal thing but i'm 15 and not ready for that yet, and when i meet a new guy that i like sex or sending nudes it almost the first thing that they mention and if i don't send them nudes or have phone sex with them i get ghosted but clearly even when i do send nudes i get the same outcome, it's just so depressing being used as a sexual object, as if that's all i have to offer, i understand at first i am very boring but its because i'm a shy awkward person but if someone literally spends one hour just talking to me they'll see that i'm funny and sweet and creative and that there's so much more to learn about me than what's in my pants, also i know it sounds like i'm male centered but i am a teenage girl i'm gonna want to be interested in boys and want boys to like me, but they never do and i see all these other girls my age find boys that genuinely love them and care about them and are interested in more than just sex or nudes and it's i've never had that once and it's literally all i want i'm kinda rambling rn but i don't know i'm just tired but i promised my self and my best friend that from here on out im not going to be worrying about boys anymore i'm tired of being hurt and used so i'm going to learn to love myself which will be extremely difficult as someone who's literally never loved herself in her life, but i feel like me letting my emotions out here might be a good start.