Dear Shan,

I don't know since when I start to feeling this and I found it so annoying so I'll just write something here.

It'll never be easy for us to become a thing, right? I know. You seems so distant and I'll just respect your decision and everything you think it'll be better for us.

But, for today, lemme just confess something (you can skip this if you didn't feels you like it).

I love you.

I love you in the way I notice things I never planned to care about.

The world may think you're strong enough... capable, composed, and someone who can stand on her own and people believe it.

I don't.

To me, you're still someone who deserves to be loved gently. I see a softness in you that's worth cherishing-I find myself wanting to stay close. And somehow it feels right to be around you.

You makes everything feel slower. Like I don't have to perform or explain myself too much. Even standing still feels meaningful.

I admire that.

I admire that your mood can change because of Bolen-how you slip into that gorilla mode, how you suddenly press a kiss to my cheek, how you argue with your father yet still do everything he asks, how you keep sending me pictures of your face and then leave me on read, how shopping and SPA becomes your comfort, how you try so hard not to be a burden to anyone, and how there are still so many versions of you that I haven't met yet. And I'm excited to see what's ahead.

Listen, you don't owe me anything okay. Not an answer, not a feeling, not even a response. I just needed you to know that someone sees you fully, and loves you for exactly who you are, P W D.

And if one day you decide to walk away, I'll understand. But if you ever look back and wonder if someone ever loved you without conditions, that was me.