Dear My ex, My baby,

You were amazing. You really were love. I don't why I had to go and ruin it. You genuinely gave me the best 5 months of that year. You were kind, aware, selfless, funny, handsome, and the best guy I could've asked for. You were the guy I yearned for. Prayed for. And I messed it up. I let you go. And sometimes I wonder if you still think about me, if you still wonder what I'm doing, how I'm doing, who I'm with. I know I shouldn't care, but I do. I know you probably hate me because of what I did, I know you do. Though you don't say it and you tell me otherwise, I know you have some type of stored up resentment towards me, and I'm sorry for it. You were genuinely an amazing guy. I think of you every day, I reminisce. I wonder how you are, what you're doing, how your sister is, how your parents are, how football's going. These are questions I would really love to ask you, but I'm too scared of that resentment you have for me. I feel like I ruined everything. The laughs, the smiles, the love, the friendship. It's all gone, because of my stupid feelings. Jaymir, I love you so much and I don't know if you'll ever see this, I kind of hope you do though. Just so you know how I genuinely feel about it all. Sometimes I sit and I think, about you, about us. How much we laughed, kissed, smiled, cried, argued. I miss it all, I really do. As selfish as this sounds, I want it to be you, I don't anyone else to look in your beautiful brown eyes the way I did. I don't want you to look in anyone's eyes like you looked in mines, warm, full of love. Honestly, it would break me. All the way. I don't know if I would be able to take that. And I know it's horrible for me to say that, even think it, but the amount of care I have for you, is so much and I really need you to know that. Every time I said, "I love you", I meant it. Truly. With every bone in my body baby, I really did. I could write so much more, but I much rather say it to you. If you see this, let me know.
I love you baby - K