Dear Person to Whoever Will Find This.,

Dear Person whoever is reading this.

We all currently living life on the same planet as one species. Many of us have different outcomes that lie at the end for to come where its either a good or a bad outcome. Most humans that are usually on the internet very often has their life with a undecided outcome. Everyday we talk to at least one other person where they bring in positive or negative energy but no matter what energy that person gives us, we still talk to them since we don't know where our life will go when that person is gone. Everyone hopes for peace in life but there is always a event in the world that prevents that person from achieving peace. No matter how many times people fought for peace. We never truly got the peace we deserve instead we are forced to live under the sky where all type of energy lies around us.

I, the person who's currently writing this letter for "Dear Nobody," is currently living among the skies where all kinds of energy are flying above us. Everyday, I am mostly around mixed energy with the influence of society and the school system. No matter how much positive energy I try to bring to myself. I'm always giving myself the energy that keeps me down. I hate watching everyone achieving their positive energy meanwhile I'm there clueless of where to start. I am not saying I don't have positive energy influencing me. Its just hard to watch everyone being happy and achieving the goals in life when I'm just a person who just wants a chance like everyone else. I really don't know where to start. In my mind, I seem like the most confident person out there but on the outside. I'm just some loser who is always alone. I don't even have someone true that I could tell about this. If I tried to tell my friends these feelings. I would probably get a weird look by them or either get thought as a joke. And they would also comment on the things that I don't do instead of the good I've done. I also hate when you ask for advice to talk to someone you don't even know and they tell you "Oh just talk to them". I hate that sentence with a deep passion because its not that easy to do so. In this conversation we are two different people. You are the one that is known for talking to a lot of people meanwhile I am the person who is scared to talk to people even the ones closest to me. Its very hard to talk to other people I don't even know. I don't know how to approach them. I don't know what to say when silence lies between us. I don't even know what to do if you even approach me. I will still be awkward if I approach you or if you approach me. I just don't know what to do to get ahead of our interaction.

Another thing that sort of gives me a little rage is that when someone says their life is hard meanwhile they had everything that life could've given them. For example they said they felt unloved. Meanwhile they had multiple people that have said they loved them before. I am also a person that nobody have ever said that they have loved me before. I haven't even achieved the first kiss yet. Its not like I don't want it, its just. I never had the chance to. Not even one relationship. Not even one true friend I could automatically partner with whenever we get an assignment to do partner work. Whenever there's an activity that is involving a partner to do it with. I always see my friends automatically picking their #1 friend that they could pick for every day of the week. Its not an act of jealously. Its that...

I want to be the first choice in life someday no matter what person it is. All my life, I've only observed things from a far. I never felt like I was in the group. I never felt like I was a real friend. I never felt like I was somebody. There is no one I would know in my life that I could tell them all of this and they would be there by my side. They would ask me "if I was ok". But I would never tell them how I actually felt. I always thought doing stuff alone was the best option. There is no positive or negative energy thrown at you. There is no pressure thrown at you. Its just you.

Someday, I hope I could achieve the status of being someone's #1. I want to be the person that they could talk for hours upon without the feeling of being judged. I want to be the person that they would consider me family. I want to be the person they would love. I want to be the person they could talk hours upon with someone else. I want to achieve peace and love. Peace and love is all I need to be complete in life. I don't care about how much money is given to me. I would rather die poor with somebody that will stay no matter what then rich and alone. I want to be an impact to someone's life. I want to be someone is life. I don't want to be big with nothing. If I had the choice of being small with everything of peace of love. I would 100% take that deal any day of the year. Just know, you won't ever be alone. That someone will eventually show up someday. It will all take a little patience. -AP