Dear Grandma,

Even though I always trying to act strong, always controlling myself not to cry, but it was really hard for me to hold my emotions any longer. I really don't know how to spent time with mom. She keeps on hurting my feelings like always and sometimes I really want to cry. She never believes in me and I think she hates me. I really hate the way how she talk to me. Like hello I'm your daughter you know. She always act like she is a lot more powerful than me and want to take control of everything. I feel really uncomfortable to spend time with her and I really want to escape as soon as possible. I feel really stressful to spend time with her and I must admit that I'm still afraid of her. I might seems like I'm happy everyday but I'm still struggling to walk out from my childhood trauma. It's literally severe child abuse. I really don't know what to do anymore. I want to focus on my academics but she keeps on interrupting me when I was studying at home this is why I'd rather stay in school. Some more she always interrupts me not because she have something urgent. I really don't feel comfortable when hearing her voice. It is scary to me. I always try to look brave but deep down I'm still afraid of her. The fear is still here even after more than ten years. Don't worry about me and I will be doing my best. I will study hard and accomplish my childhood dream of becoming a cathay pilot. I really wish that I can study abroad soon. I wish to further study in new zealand which is far enough from her. Thank you so much for teaching me a lot of things when I was young and I'll continue to be a nice person. God bless and love you nainai❤️