Dear maddix,

I miss you. when you left me, I didn't know what to do. I had a panic attack I didn't know what it was I needed help. you left me in hurt. you left me when I needed you most. I feel like I'm drowning without you. Maddix why did you leave me we did everything together. we were each other's first, we slept skin to skin. I shouldn't feel this hurt at the age of 17. when it was are 1 year and we stayed in that hotel without my dad knowing I was so scared, but it was so fun. Getting to sleep in the same bed with you. Waking up in the middle of the night to see you sleeping so peacefully it was so cute. that sounds weird but i loved seeing you sleep you just were at piece. sleeping in your arms was the best feeling ever. will i ever get that back? will i ever have you back? i miss the first time we walked in your woods you were wearing your ram shirt with black sweatpants it was so cute. I'm sorry i miss you so much. and now that you're gone i don't know what to do. i wish you wouldn't have left me. ive thought about ending it a few times out of hurt sadness and missing. when i told you i wouldn't be able to live without you i meant it. i meant every word i said. i still think about it i would do it but i would feel so selfish. but i can't live without you I'm so lost. i lost my best friend, my baby, my lover, my soulmate. i hope one day you come back. i genuinely don't know what to do without you. I'm all by myself. i don't want anybody else. i just want you. please come back to me. i need you so bad. please Maddix come back. please this is my last hope.