Dear myself,

I am the problem. Today supposed to be first day of class but somehow i messed up by bickering with my mother and i feeling so down cause I've been thinking of about hurting or death. How can a person be so mean talk about love giving hope and stuff but when i already open up here we go "uncertaincy" "life" "friends" Why am i the only one need to beg for love am i that worthless?am i that ugly? Why you need to make feel comfortable when you're unsure about this stuff and somehow now it getting dry. I'm just healed why so bother to put that stuff back. I defend i show everything i have to make you sure how genuine i feel to you but how reckless you are the day i defend you in front of people you made it as a day that reopen my wound. I can't hate you cause you keep apologizing but it's hurting me so bad. For friendship, I'm exhausted of become an independent girl. I'm also a girl who try to survive this battle.I thought i get understand but how can you act so friendly after saying stuff "She and her should get the same room" while i'm think a lot about other so i faced it alone even after they said about bring motorcycle i offer myself to ride with her but still I couldn't manage to love myself.