Dear my friends,

I've never felt so included and so ostracised at the same time.

I'm not really sure what to do because I love you all so much and our hangouts are so fun but I'm the odd one out, I'm not as confident or care free, I'm not as attractive or cool as all of you.

every time we hang out I'm so scared that everyone is just being nice and that you don't actually like me.

last night when we all got high together I felt like I embarrassed myself so much, I hate smoking and I only did it because I hate being sober and I don't want to be the odd one out again.
and I know that everyone was kind and comforting when I freaked out because I took had much but L called me cringe when we were alone and it was only one simple word but my biggest fear is people finding me annoying.

I feel so overdramatic whilst writing this because its really pathetic but I just want to be liked, I've never felt like I belong somewhere and it is my only wish.