Dear Winter,

Winter,

I know you'll probably never see this, but I need to say it anyway. I love you. I love you more than I ever meant to, more than I know what to do with. And maybe that's the hardest part knowing you might never feel the same way.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to when we first met, when everything felt easy. We used to talk for hours restless nights filled with nothing but laughter. Back then, it felt like I mattered to you. Now, it feels like we can barely even talk. You're always busy, and maybe that's true but sometimes it doesn't feel that way. I see you replying to everyone else so quickly, and I can't help but wonder if I've just become someone you let go of without a second thought.

What hurts the most is that I don't even fully know you I don't know what you look like but somehow, you still make my heart race every time we talk. That has to mean something, right? Or maybe it just means I let myself fall too hard.

I'm scared of what my feelings are doing to me. I'm scared that if I keep holding this in, I'll end up in that same dark place I was in before-feeling distant, broken, and like I'm not enough. I hate that feeling. I don't want to be that version of myself again.

There was a moment not too long ago when everything felt unbearable, and somehow, you were the reason I didn't give up that night. That matters to me more than I can even explain. But it also makes this harder, because I don't know where I stand with you now.

I wish distance didn't exist. I wish I could just be there with you, even for a moment. I imagine what it would feel like to finally be close to you... but at the same time, I'm afraid that even then, you'd still pull away. Maybe I'm trying too hard.