Dear Dear Mom,

You are the worst person in the history of my life. And my dad's life. And my sister's life. You are the reason why I have to go to the psychologist. You are the one who messes my brain. You are one of the reasons I want to kill myself. And I was about to. 13th December 2025. I planned that date to die on overdosing pills because it was the day your father died and I wanted to die that day as well just so I could escape from you and your words.
You know what you did to me? You know? When my teacher sexually assaulted me and I told you, you laughed at my face. You didn't get me away until much later and once you did, you pretended that you never knew. That I never told you. And when I tried to confront you, you slapped me on my face repeatedly and called me a drama queen. I like reading and you berate me and at the same time, praise me. You call me out for every single thing. I am lonely and depressed, you call me out for needing a psychologist at this age. I have no friends, you call me out. Nobody can tolerate me, in your words. I am destined for failure and my sister will rise and I will be a disgrace.
The thing is that can easily be handled. It can be.
But the worst thing you ever did, was cheat on my dad. And deny. Deny. Deny. Deny. And do you know what you do? You bring faults to my father as if it is nothing.
A background on my dad: He lost his son and first wife in an accident. Three years later, he married my mother and according to my mom, she knew nothing of his condition. He had broken limbs and needed a wheelchair. He was also.... shorter.
But my dad, is the most honest person ever! He never looks at another woman! He loves us all. You know my mother's birthday? We used to go to Nandos every year for her birthday, but my mother denies he ever did anything for her. Nandos. And in Botswana, Nandos is expensive stuff!
He has faults that ordinary people do. And yet....you know what she says? She says, that he killed his son and wife. Repeatedly. She says that he is worth nothing. And that is high, coming from a woman who herself has not done a single day of work. Or well, she did. And you know what that resulted in? My dad trusted his business to his wife who just destroyed his hard earned, 18-year-long business and as a result, we had to return back home.
And yet, she tells all that stuff while cheating on my dad. And when I defend him. You know what she says? I am mad. That I must do shit like she does as well, that's why I suspect her. We have proof upon proof and she denies.
She says she can live alone. And yet, she eats my dad's cooking. She depends on him for her medicine. My dad came back when she was sick, leaving his important work just so she could get her damn injection, and let me just say that this happened after, after, after we found out that she cheated on him!
She cheats on him, dear reader, and yet it is my father who sits beside me, depressed. He is the one who sits beside me, unworthy.
And he cannot even tell his family members, because still, he protects her honor to them.
Do you think it is nice, hearing your mother complain that perhaps your dad isn't good in the bed? I may be eighteen, but he is my father and I had to hear that stuff from that awful, awful manipulator! She manipulates everybody! Even us, her daughters!
She berates us, then apologizes, then manipulates. A professional gaslighter.
She makes me mad, I swear to Allah, she makes me so crazy! Sometimes, I really do wish that she'd leave.
But she won't. She lets us live in this continous hell over and over and over again.
I want to defend my dad. I really do. But, somehow, it just makes it worse because well, she can hit me, but I certainly cannot do that! Plus, my dad shuts me up. And the one time I did....well, it's like arguing with the devil, honestly. My grandmother told me to not argue with her, like, her own mom. Her brother calls her a hypocrite. Nobody can tolerate her and yet....she is over our heads, creating hell for all of us.
I really, really, really wish that she could just disappear. I absolutely hate that woman! She fucked me up so bad! And now, she is on the process of fucking my father up! I just wish....I just wish she knew how much she hurts us. Like, Allah watches everything, right? Surely, there has to be divine retribution for this. Right? Surely there has to come a day when she will be punished.
And I wait for that day, every single damn day of my current existence. I am waiting, waiting, waiting for that day, and yet it isn't coming. I suppose that patience is key but Ye Allah, please help us. You are the only one who can help us and I really, really, really, really need your help. Please. Just let this nightmare pass. She's making our life a misery and I want her out. I want her out before I lose my dad and my sister. I really want her out. We'll survive without her and I want her out. Please, please, please, Allah! You are the only one that can help us. Please. Please!!!!!!