Dear Savannah D,

I wish you knew you weren't a burden. Even throughout your scars, trauma, and avoidant tendencies. Yes, its difficult to be on the recieving end of at times, but i understand, and I dont fault you for the behavior you've learned in self protection. But I do wish you were able to realize you dont have to be some sort of perfectly healed woman to be worthy of love. Real love, not the kind you've been accustomed to after a hard childhood and trauma at the hands of immature men. Love that is patient, love that is kind, love that doesn't raise their voice at you or ignore eachother. Love that says I see you as you are and thats why I choose you, again and again. You're worthy of that, now, even on the days you cant fully love yourself. Love that comes to you on the rainiest of days and sets aside time for whatever you need. Love that shows up constantly. Love, built on what God meant it to be. But, I know none of that seems realistic for you. Maybe you think it exists, just not for you - maybe you aren't even convinced it does exist. But it does. I of all people would know that, but not because ive ever recieved it. I wish you were able to see the joy you create in another human being just by being you. The butterflies that come from your eye contact. The desire to hear you talk about what you love even if I dont understand it all, or to see and hear you laugh so I dont forget your voice and smile. Truthfully I don't think you will ever fully understand the feelings associated with wanting something with you. The actual letters written but were never able to be sent. The dates I would've initiated but couldn't bring up. The words that are constantly there but never said. The future i would like but always seems out of reach. We're young, but im mature enough to know I wont find you in someone else. And I dont want to find you in someone else. You, as you are. I wish you knew you were everything but a burden.