Dear Bella,

Hi Bella .
So much to say in a letter I have no idea where to even start . I have a lot to get off my chest . Luckily this letter is hidden because this is way too embarrassing to say to someone out loud . I wish I had someone to tell this too.
But, thank you for being there for me when i needed someone the most. Its been a couple years since we have seen each other , and when you came up to me for the first time, it was a moment i have been praying for . I was so terribly scared when you approached me and I crumbled under the pressure and really embarrassed myself even more. I wanted to talk to you so so badly but never in a million years did i think you would ever talk to me or even like someone like me at all . I wish i had confidence and wasnt so shy. I always wanted to do fun things with you but I actually dont even know how to talk to people an make conversation and be good friends with someone because honestly throughout my entire life I was so awful at making friends . I was so scared being with you and i really wish that i wasnt. You were just way better looking than me and so were all of your other guy friends. I just wasnt sure if you actually liked me or not because when i look at your guy friends and see them and how good looking they are , It got me thinking , there is zero chance she would ever like me . I remember I had the most disgusting acne ever growing on my face, and we suppose to eat somewhere an hangout i guess, and i just had to cancel it because i was just way to nervous and didnt want you seeing me all disgusting looking. I just knew you would leave me the whole time, and i just thought you not seeing me that day would help make you stay longer. Which maybe it did . I know canceling didnt make you happy and im really sorry about that, I thought it was the only way we can still be friends. Hahah if you would of saw my face that day i think you would have left me forever..it looked bad.. I just really wish you knew who i was. I wish i asked you more questions and i wish i wasnt so terrified. I wish i was good enough for you.
When you messaged me in April during the year everything happened and said we shouldnt continue whatever we had going , i completely understood . You had so many more better options down where you lived . I knew that i wasnt the one to wait for . And to me it all made sense, all the over thinking i had knowing i wasnt good enough for you starting coming full circle .. That why i was always so hesitate with you because i knew you wouldnt stay. The last time we hung out i was so so awkward. I am very bad at goodbyes and i thought the way i handled to was the best i could have done. If i didnt do it that way then i would have started balling up crying infront of you, which is gross to see and you would have hated me more. When we said goodbye and hugged eachother for the last time and i left the building to walk back to my apartment. and i just started crying like a little baby because i knew that would be that last time i ever see you in my life. I just wanted to see you more. I wish we had more time together. I wish i was better and more mature for you. I dont blame you for wanting to leave me because i know i am well aware that i am not good enough for you.
You asked me one time if i ever cried and i answered with no...im very glad i lied, because telling you that i have cried every single day since forever would have been so disgusting for you to hear. I wish i wasnt such a little sissy . Cried like a little loser baby every single night because of you.
OML you have no idea how much i actually liked you, i wish i wasnt so scared to show it, i just wasnt sure how, and knew i wasnt worthy enough.

During the summer when you left i had no idea if i should text you or not. I just didnt know if you would want me too. I wasnt sure if you have a Boyfriend already down where you lived. But that reminds me, you stayed up at school for the summer to do summer school before you graduated later in the year. You worked at Walmart, and i was thinkin that maybe you got a boyfriend from there..
Why would i text you when you have a bunch of other better looking dudes to text...?
But a year goes by and you start posting about some dude that broke your heart ,and you are always baking cookie for him and posting stories trying to message him. So i knew there is when you probably forgot about me.. WHICH IS FINE LOL!
During that time i was thinking....how tf could someone do this to you .... but i see that you were in your yearning phase and just wanted that dude very badly. Im not sure how you guys worked out...
BUT , now its present day in 2026. And not its confirmed that you actually have a boyfriend... I knew since like march/april time but when you posted him on my birthday, then i confirmed it of course. My heart actually dropped so hard and it was so cold blooded that you posted that haha. I see what you did though, it's actually very smart. There so much more to saybut