Dear my parents,

I hate my face.
I hate my whole body to be exact.
I don't care if I get compliments for my appearance everyday.
I know that I'm not that good looking like how others describe me.
I'm not pretty. And I hate how it seems like everyone is lying to my face.
I hate it. Everytime I look in the mirror, I feel a deep sense of disgust towards myself.
Why is my face like this?
Why can't my face be more feminine?
''But you're pretty.'' No. I'm not. In fact, I'm just a try-hard. Putting on makeup everyday just to look ''decent''. And all that just to get treated like a human. Because I know that pretty privilege is real. And I wish I had it. I have hated my appearance for too long now. And I don't want this face. I really don't. I didn't choose to look like this. I always push myself, comparing myself with other people who I don't even know. I stay up late at night wondering how others really perceive me. Am I really pretty? Or are they just feeling bad for me? I don't know. And honestly? I don't want to know the truth either. Because whatever the truth is, it'll hurt me anyway. I feel bad for myself. I always wanted to be pretty. To be in a relationship. But you know what they say. Teenage love is just for attractive people, right? Right. I know that too now. That's why I stopped trying so hard. I have noticed that I can see beauty in everyone around me. But just not in myself. Everytime someone compliments me, I feel disgusted. Not because of them, but because how could anyone ever find me pretty and say that straight to my face without ever looking disgusted? I'm starting to hate compliments. And I know they are meant to bring joy, but I already know how ugly I am. No need to tell me otherwise just to cheer me up. It's not going to work. But sadly, I'm stuck with this face for the rest of my life, so what can I do?