Dear Jazhiel,

You were my "I'd Lie," "Hey Stephen," and "Jump Then Fall" boy. The first time I heard "Ruin the Friendship" by Taylor, it reminded me of you. Every time I hear it, I think to myself, "I should've kissed you anyway..." kaso we were too young at that time, so it would have been weird.

I'm currently in a relationship-a long and happy one, pero there are times like these talaga na I ask myself these "what ifs." What if you actually liked me back? What if you were just torpe? (I know you're torpe, you told me e.)

I have a confession to make, I really thought we had a chance. Lalo na nung time na we got each other's backs and knew what was going on in each other's lives. I really really thought that finally, after all the things you and I went through, it would always be you and me-na we'd find our way into each other's arms.

All those delulu thoughts came crashing down nung I found out na you were in a relationship na. You posted her, and I envied her. She's pretty, and maybe smart too, but I have these questions in mind: Didn't you actually like me talaga? Why ask me to send my selfies? Why update me on what you're gonna wear when we hang out with friends? You knew I liked you. Why did it seem like you only liked the attention I was giving you? Why did you not give "us" a chance? Am I really not worth risking for?

Never mind, it's not like you're gonna see this anyway. Just know that you will forever be my TOTGA-my greatest what if.