Dear To my dearest, Ashley.,

I don't know how to say this, It's been years since we first met. And honestly, I don't know how to say this, when I first heard about you, it was from a friend-a friend that liked you. At first, I didn't really mind it, because it wasn't my business. But when I first saw you, really saw you, I knew I had screwed up. Who knew I would fall in love with you after seeing you for the first time? Hell I didn't even know I would. But still, my friend liked you. I mean, I didn't want to get in your way, or her way so I kept it a secret. I acted like it wasn't my business, I just shipped you two to my hearts content while feeling like absolute heart broken inside. But, what was I supposed to do anyway? You two knew each other before, I can't fight that can't I? I liked you so much that dating a girl felt... Fine. Like nothing would matter as long as I had you, like nothing would happen even if I break my religion's rules about dating the same gender. My dearest Ashley. Oh my Ash, I didn't confess because I couldn't. I didn't want to ruin that girl's love for you or my friendship with her. You didn't know me, I didn't know you personally. Yet, we were still connected as friends in a way-because we were in the same friend group, and they knew my love for you and kept it a secret. But, you liked another girl. That girl that I shipped with you along with the others. I knew it was a gamble, if she found out, she'd question my actions. But I had no ill intentions. I only wanted my love for you to end. That's why I chose to do it even though my heart broke into pieces. My love for you knew no ends, I broke all rules and continued to love you even though I knew you wouldn't like me back. Sometimes, I would even wonder if you would. But I put those thoughts aside because I felt it was impossible. We were worlds apart. You were an average student, I was an honor student. Dating wasn't my options-I don't think it ever was. I don't know how a relationship worked, I was avoidant. So, I'm a bit glad I didn't confess to you. You were the campus crush from that time as far as I remember. That's why I thought it'd never work out. You were also in a relationship with her. I kept it a secret for two years, and I forced myself to move on during those summer vacation. High school caught up to us, and we went to different schools. I didn't forget about you, and I moved on finally. I found a guy I liked, but it was only weeks until I eventually stopped my feelings for him. I kept remembering you, kept seeing you in others yet no one ever felt or looked liked you. I truly had moved on when I forgot about you, then, I met this boy. He wasn't special, had the same sports as you but he definitely wasn't you. You're the first girl I've liked for two years, the first one that reached that long. Honestly, I don't even know why. You were just special-And you were never mine. I still think about you, but, my feelings are gone and no longer the same. You were my the one that got away. My sailor. My good luck, babe. If I had confess, if I wasn't an awkward, shy and full of anxiety as a kid, would we become friends? I still wonder, Ashley. You were my greatest crush. Someone I won't go back to because there was nothing to ever go back to. We weren't strangers, we weren't friends. All we had was just a connection to each other through mutual friends. We never talked to each other. We never interacted with each other. You were someone I liked without knowing you. I wish I didn't fall in love with you, but we can't go back in time can we? I wish you well my dear, and I wish you the best in life as we continue living. You may live in my heart as someone I knew, but never truly knew. Good bye.