Dear anyone,

I hate being sad when im perfectly fine.I feel like my issues are not valuable enough to ask for help.My family life is good, and so is skl and my friendships.idk what i need and i just feel lost most of the time. Mabye its the fact that i have no one,im probably never a first choice anyways.I have friends and i love them,but i just feel like they wont understand.Even people i deeply trust dont ask me stuff.I feel alone yet loved.Its like i have alot of people who know me on the outside but never really on the inside.Ive struggled alot romantically too.It kinda sucks that im aromantic bc i want to love someone but i cant.i start off by liking someone,but it always just ends up feeling wrong.Like one has a gf (im obviously dont like them anymore),one that likes someone else,and one thats just lost feelings ig.Idk where they went now. it just seems he only talks to me when his friends dont respond.I miss him, not him now, but him before.Ik i cant love him tho its just wrong for multiple reasons.Its not always like that tho, most of the time im fully fine with it. I only develop crushes when i think of them, but irl? Not really.Im also struggling with my appearance.I see beauty in everyone but now me.Anything i try to do to make myself prettier just ends up the same.I just wish i was prettier, not for someone else, but for me.Anyways i dont expect someone to read this but mods, i just wanna be better again. Mabye i will be tomorrow, mabye its just that im writing this at night(i always tell myself to never believe what i think past 10pm),mabye everything will be alright.Goodnight me and i hope i stay strong and tuff :)