Dear him,

You were the first person who accepted my identity that I had a romantic interest in.
You seemed to express the same, responded back in kind in our conversations.
But then you would delete what you said, you would step back. Every attempt I made to bring us a step closer you always denied. You made no effort to explain, or to bring the same energy.
Life as a gay trans man is incredibly lonely, and for once I thought I wouldn't be.
After months of friendship, you left without a trace.
Only for me to discover months later that you ended up showing your true self to our mutual friends.
The fact you said racist remarks about those I care for aches.
I thought you were someone else, and you made me and all our other friends believe you were.
It's been years, and I don't miss you.
But I miss feeling happy. I miss thinking I had a chance at love.
I miss not being lonely.
I miss thinking that maybe being trans meant I could still find love.
I guess I was just naive.
I'm not sure when I will be able to be happy again, I haven't been for around a year.
I just want to find love and be happy again. Is that too much to ask?