Dear vince,

i think i've already accepted the fact that maybe i'll never be the person you look at the way you look at the people you truly love. maybe i'll always just be the friend beside you - the one you run to when life gets heavy, when your thoughts get too loud, when you need someone to listen. and honestly? i think i can live with that, as long as i still get to keep you.

because losing you completely feels far more terrifying than loving you quietly.

i can swallow my feelings if it means i still get to hear your laugh after i say something stupid. if it means i still get to stay up talking to you during random nights, still get to ask how your day was, still get to remind you to eat, rest, and take care of yourself. i can pretend my heart doesn't ache whenever you talk about someone else, if it means i still get to exist somewhere in your life.

and maybe that's the saddest part of all this - standing so close to someone i love, close enough to understand them, care for them, and know the smallest things about them, yet still choosing to remain only a friend. not because i don't feel enough, but because i'm terrified that asking for more might cost me everything we already have.

sometimes i wonder if you'll ever realize how much of my heart has quietly belonged to you all these years. but at the same time, i hope you never do, because i don't want you to feel guilty for not loving me the same way. loving you was never supposed to be a burden you had to carry.

so i'll stay here quietly. maybe not forever, maybe not in the same way, but for now, i'll stay. because despite everything, your presence still means more to me than my pride ever will.