Dear Dear Nobody,

I would commit if given the chance. Honestly, I would. Although it really isn't that simple for me at least. Yes, I love my family and friends, and I might have made a huge impact on many if not all my friends but somehow with the majority of them I get used either for help on any assignment, with relationship advice, or just any problem honestly. With my family I'm the first-born daughter/ granddaughter and pretty much the "role model" as many like to put it, and sometimes it does feel good to be the center of attention especially when I get good grades (which is constantly) but like that's just another pressure that many don't see. People don't see what's going on in my mind; they don't see the constant self-torture I put myself through. How much pressure I put on myself to get straight A's, to be "perfect" in mariachi, be the "perfect" daughter, person, just be "perfect in everything". While at the same having to listen to constant criticism for any little mistake I do. And just to add to that even though most people tell me "You're so pretty without any makeup" or they just compliment me; I've never been loved by a lover. Never. And I try so hard for people to like me, but I guess I'm doing something wrong. What am I doing wrong?!