Dear KY,

To be honest you were all that I ever wanted back then. It was not just about your looks it was about the way you were and the way you carried yourself. The way you were so strong and how you overcame everything. But that's also what made me hate you when we broke up, because I couldn't figure whether you really cared about us or you didn't at all. That's what made me hate you the most; we were once inseparable and die hard for each other but then eventually god had to humble me as if making sure I know there are downs in life too....or maybe god was saving me because I was too deeply in love with you regardless of how many times my friends and family warned me telling me that I'm too young to love that passionately. It felt like I was being stabbed and shot multiple times. It was the biggest heartbreak I'd ever experienced...it was you who taught me love and affection....and gave me the biggest trauma too.
But regardless I still yearned for you but then I met someone...and sometimes I saw a spitting image of you in him...that's when I realized I had a type...and also that my ideal form of love was not healthy...I got to know that I romanticized gut wrenching one sided love and bare minimums...I felt like I was the most pathetic person alive that I let myself become what I feared.
After us, I almost stopped believing in love but then I met him....but so what...the flashbacks of you still haunted me and I gave it up...we weren't in a relationship btw I stopped getting into relationships ever since us. The idea of loving someone to the point that even if they stabbed you you'd still love them unconditionally made me nauseous.

I'm writing this just to let you know I let go of you the moment I realized you were ruining my chances to ever love someone who actually loves me back harder.
But oh how I yearned for you like a loser and waited for you to return while you were out there changing girls like clothes....

I hope you meet yourself in the person you ever fall deeply in love with like I did.

Adios ex