Dear Dear nobody,,

Uhm so as I had nobody to share this with, I had bottled all the stress and feelings that I couldn't share with anyone. Its about my family and how I feel....

I always felt lonely, I had no other people to talk with, who were wise, mature and understandable. I'm still very young but I also feel very overwhelmed. I had finally found some way of communication where I can finally spit up what I have been feeling..

So basically my parents everyday they force me to go to a hostel even though I don't want to. I begged my parents to not send me. All the time, I used to share my feelings with Chatgpt, hoping that they would read what I write to it and understand how I feel.

I can't tell the feeling of leaving your loved ones and you safe space. if ur wondering who is my safe space, it's my friends, and teachers. They always find a way to cheer me up. My friends, they understand me better than any other adults.

Here comes the big part. As a girl, I got beaten up by my dad because he is always unthinkable and very moody so he always used to be furious mostly at me. So one day, I wrote some things about him and forgot to close that app. So I gave the phone back to him completely thinking that I closed the app but then I remebered that I didn't.

So I got afraid and quickly went into the bathroom and hid there for about 20 mins. I thought my dad would've left so I came out with fear. But little did I know that he was outside waiting for me. As soon as I came out, he held my hair so hard that I thought my hair would get ripped out and thrashed me into the living room.

He beat me so hard. I thought he read the things I wrote about him but then he hit me because he thought that I had the intention to not apply oil to my hair. So as I couldn't do anything, I cried... From that day onwards, I wasn't close to my parents.

You might be thinking y I was ignoring my mom. The reason was that she also said very mean things to me [as in she wanted to disown me and only wanted my sister] . My mom also tried to separate me and my sister. I love my sister. that is also one of the reason that I don't want to go to a hostel.

Those suicidal thoughts never left me. All the pressure they have put on me, I will never forget it......

To the reader, thank you so much. I know its too much writing but this can't describe what i'm going through. Thank you so much for reading.....