Your Consent, Explained
At Dear Nobody™, we believe in radical transparency. Here's exactly what each consent option means, in plain language.
You decide how your words live in the world. You choose whether your letter is public or private, and each optional consent (research, marketing) is off by default. Nothing happens without your permission.
Public vs. Private
This is not a consent toggle — it's a visibility choice. When you submit, you choose between two options:
Share Publicly
Your letter may appear in The Mailbox for others to read, in books, or in other Dear Nobody™ collections. All public submissions are reviewed by moderators before being published.
- Your letter content (the words you wrote)
- Your pseudonym (or "Anonymous" if you don't choose one)
- The date you submitted it
Keep Private
Your letter stays private — just for you. It won't be shared publicly, used for research, or used for marketing. Moderators may still review it for safety, but it will never appear in The Mailbox or anywhere public.
What We NEVER Share (Public or Private)
- Your email or any contact information
- Your IP address or location
- Your Private ID (that stays secret forever)
- Any information that could identify you personally
Can You Change Your Mind?
This applies to visibility (public vs. private), optional research consent, and optional marketing consent — not to AI safety analysis, which runs on every submission (see AI Analysis).
In Access & Control, you can switch eligible submissions between public and private, turn research or marketing on or off, update your letter where your workflow allows, or delete entirely.
You can withdraw research and marketing consent at any time in Access & Control — your letter stays published, but we stop all new research and marketing uses. You can also delete your submission entirely (subject to a rare legal hold). However, you cannot re-enable research or marketing consent once withdrawn after publication, and you cannot switch a published letter back to "private" without deleting it — the product does not let you withdraw only those consents while keeping the same published letter in the archive. You can still delete your submission at any time (subject to a rare legal hold); deletion removes it from the site and revokes consents tied to it. You also cannot turn a published public letter “private” without deleting it — the archive stays stable for readers.
Legal Hold Exception: In rare circumstances, a legal hold may be placed on your submission (e.g., due to a court order or law enforcement request). During an active hold, your content cannot be deleted even with your Private ID. When the hold is released, normal deletion rights resume. See our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for details.
This is not about trapping writers. We keep the archive stable — published letters stay live for readers — but your optional consents for research and marketing are always under your control.
Pseudonym Moderation
We allow full creative freedom — but we protect our community from harm.
Pseudonyms We Remove or Replace
- Hate speech or slurs: Any language targeting protected groups
- Real-person impersonation: Pretending to be someone else
- Offensive or harmful names: Sexually explicit, violent, or degrading language
- Spam or promotional: Brand names, URLs, contact information
- Rights violations: Using someone's real name without permission
What Happens if We Moderate Your Pseudonym
Offensive pseudonyms are replaced with "Anonymous." Your letter stays intact. We only change the name.
We won't notify you before making this change — it's part of our content moderation process.
Examples
"Alex," "Broken But Healing," "A Tired Student," "Nobody's Child"
Hate speech, slurs, impersonations, explicit sexual language
Research & Academic Use
What this means: Researchers, students, or academics may use your letter (anonymously) to study human emotion, writing, mental health, or communication.
How It's Used
- Academic papers or studies
- Psychology or sociology research
- Understanding human expression
- Mental health awareness research
Full Anonymization Protocol
When we say "fully anonymized," here's exactly what we do:
- Remove all pseudonyms and IDs (Public ID, Private ID, any name you used)
- Strip unique personal identifiers from the letter text:
- Real names (yours or others mentioned)
- Schools, universities, workplaces
- Cities, towns, specific locations
- Ages, birthdates, specific dates
- Any other identifying details
- Create a separate "research version" of the text with identifiers redacted
- Keep the original only in our secure internal system — never shared externally
Example: "I'm Sarah, 19, at UCLA..." becomes "[REDACTED], [REDACTED], at [REDACTED]..."
Institutional Verification
Before we share any research dataset, we verify the requester's legitimacy:
- Cross-check accreditation with U.S. Department of Education or CHEA databases
- Require institutional email address (no Gmail, Yahoo, etc.)
- Require ethics statement or IRB number for human-subjects research
- Signed data use agreement with strict prohibitions on re-identification
We do not share data with individuals, private companies, or unverified organizations.
Our Research Data Sharing Policy
We take research ethics seriously. Here's our complete process:
- Review Every Request: Dear Nobody™ staff personally reviews every research data request before any data is shared
- IRB Approval Required: For studies involving human subjects, we require proof of IRB (Institutional Review Board) approval or equivalent ethics board approval
- Vetting Research Partners:
- Verify institutional affiliation is legitimate
- Review the research purpose and methodology
- Assess whether the research aligns with our values of supporting human expression and wellbeing
- Data Use Agreement: All partners must sign a legally binding agreement that prohibits re-identification attempts, data resale, and requires data destruction after the study
- Ongoing Compliance: We reserve the right to audit research use and terminate access for violations
Questions about research access? Contact support@dearnobody.org with subject line "Research Inquiry"
Can You Change Your Mind?
Yes — revoke research consent anytime in Access & Control. Your submission is removed from future research exports.
Yes — you can withdraw research consent at any time in Access & Control, even after publication. Your letter stays published, but we stop all new research sharing and dataset versions going forward. We cannot erase third-party papers that already quoted an anonymized dataset. Once withdrawn after publication, research consent cannot be re-enabled.
Marketing & Merchandise
What this means: We may use short excerpts (not your entire letter) in social media, newsletters, press, promotional materials, and physical or digital merchandise to share what Dear Nobody™ is about.
Where Excerpts Appear
- Social media posts (Instagram, Twitter, etc.)
- Email newsletters to our community
- Press materials or interviews
- Website homepage or promotional pages
- Printed books and anthologies
- Apparel (t-shirts, hoodies, etc.)
- Art prints and posters
- Other merchandise (mugs, notebooks, digital products, etc.)
Important: By consenting to marketing, you grant us permission to use your excerpts on physical and digital products that may be sold. Your words could appear on clothing, prints, in books, or other merchandise. You will not receive royalties or payment for this use.
Our Commitment to Mental Health
While you won't receive royalties, we believe your words deserve to make a positive impact beyond Dear Nobody™:
- Attribution: If your excerpt appears on merchandise, your marketing pseudonym (or "Anonymous") will be credited alongside your words
- Giving Back: 15% of Dear Nobody™'s annual net profit is donated to mental health organizations that support the communities we serve
This is our way of honoring the vulnerability you share with us—by ensuring your words contribute to something meaningful.
What We Share
- Short excerpts only: Usually 1-3 sentences, not your whole letter
- Your marketing pseudonym: A separate name you choose just for marketing
- Context: Sometimes a note like "age 24" or "submitted last week" (only if you provide it)
Your Marketing Pseudonym
When you check the marketing consent, an optional field appears where you can choose a different pseudonym for marketing than the one on your letter. This gives you more control over how you're credited.
Example:
- Letter pseudonym: "Alex"
- Marketing pseudonym: "A College Student"
This is completely optional. If you leave it blank, we'll use "Anonymous" by default.
Can You Change Your Mind?
Yes — revoke marketing consent anytime in Access & Control.
Yes — you can withdraw marketing consent at any time in Access & Control, even after publication. We stop all new marketing uses; we cannot fully control third-party copies already posted (social feeds, newsletters, etc.). Once withdrawn after publication, marketing consent cannot be re-enabled.
AI Analysis (Automatic)
What this means: When you submit a letter, our AI automatically analyzes it to help moderators and to show you relevant support resources if needed.
This is NOT optional consent
AI analysis happens automatically for all submissions. It's part of how we keep the community safe and help moderators work efficiently. However, the AI:
- Never makes final decisions — humans review every submission
- Never learns from your content — it's inference-only
- Never shares your content — analysis happens on Cloudflare's secure network
What AI Analyzes
- Crisis Detection: Identifies if you might need support resources (like the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). Crisis resources are displayed when our AI detects language associated with distress (score threshold ≥ 0.3). Resources appear before and after submission. Dear Nobody is not a crisis service and does not monitor submissions in real time.
- Theme Suggestion: Suggests categories like "grief," "love," "family" to help organize content
- Content Recommendation: Suggests to moderators whether to approve, review closely, or flag content
- Explicit Content: Detects mature content for appropriate age-gating
- Trigger & Content Warnings: Identifies potentially sensitive topics (self-harm, violence, substance use, etc.) so moderators can apply appropriate content warnings to protect readers
What We Store
We store only the results of AI analysis, not the reasoning process:
- Crisis score (a number from 0-1)
- Suggested themes
- Recommendation (approve/review/reject)
- Model version and timestamp
When you delete your submission, all AI analysis is also deleted.
Your Rights
- View your AI analysis: Use your Private ID in Access & Control to see exactly what AI detected
- Know a human reviewed it: AI recommends, humans decide
- Delete everything: Deleting your submission removes all AI data too
Technical Details: We use Llama 3.1 8B (primary) with Llama 4 Scout 17B and Llama 3.3 70B as fallbacks, all open-source models by Meta, running on Cloudflare Workers AI. The models are "inference-only" — they cannot learn from or remember your content. Model versions may change as we update to improved models.
Your Rights & Our Promises
You Always Have
- The right to say "no" to any or all optional consents (research, marketing)
- The choice between sharing publicly or keeping your letter private
- Access to your letter anytime with your Private ID
- The right to request deletion at any time using your Private ID (note: deletion may be temporarily blocked during an active legal hold)
We Promise
- No personal information: We never share your email, IP, or identity
- You control your content: You can change visibility and optional consents before publication. After publication, you can still withdraw research and marketing consent at any time — or delete the letter entirely.
- Transparent use: We only use your letter in ways you explicitly agreed to
- Respectful curation: We review all letters for appropriate context and consent
Common Questions
Do I have to agree to the optional consents to submit?
No. You must agree to the Terms, Privacy Policy, and Guidelines to submit. You also choose whether your letter is public or private. Research and marketing consents are entirely optional — you can submit without checking either one.
Can I consent to marketing but keep my letter private?
No. Research and marketing consents are only available when you choose "Share Publicly." If you choose "Keep Private," those options are automatically disabled — your private letter will never be shared in any form.
Will I get paid if my excerpt appears on merchandise?
No. By consenting to marketing, you grant us a royalty-free license to use your excerpts on merchandise, in books, on apparel, and other products. You will not receive payment or royalties for this use. If you're not comfortable with this, simply leave the marketing consent unchecked.
What happens if I don't choose a pseudonym?
We'll use "Anonymous" by default. That's perfectly fine!
Can I use my real name?
Yes, but we recommend against it. Dear Nobody™ is about anonymous expression. Using your real name removes that protection.
What if my letter contains sensitive information?
Even if you choose to share publicly, our moderators review every letter. We may:
- Redact specific details (like names or locations) to protect privacy — the original is preserved internally, and only the redacted version is published
- In limited cases, an administrator may reverse a redaction (unredact) if the content is later determined safe to publish. This is restricted to admins and logged in our audit trail
- Apply trigger warnings to alert readers of sensitive content
- Keep the letter private instead of publishing it
- Decline to publish if it could harm you or others
Since we don't collect contact information, we won't reach out before making these decisions. Your safety matters more than publishing.
Can Dear Nobody™ edit my letter?
We may make minor edits for:
- Typos or obvious errors (only if you chose to share publicly)
- Formatting for readability
- Removing identifying information for your safety
We never change the meaning or emotion of your letter. If major edits are needed, we'll reject it for publishing (but keep it in Dear Nobody™).
Summary
Your consent is powerful. You decide how your words are used.
Public or Private
Your choice — share publicly or keep it just for you
Research
Optional — help academics understand human experience
Marketing & Merchandise
Optional — let excerpts appear on products, prints, books, and more
AI Analysis
Automatic — helps moderators and shows you support resources
You choose whether your letter is public or private. Research and marketing are optional and off by default. You can withdraw research or marketing consent at any time — before or after publication — in Access & Control. Your letter stays published, but we stop new uses. You can also delete entirely to remove the letter and all associated data.
No pressure. No judgment. Just honest choice.